Recently, we were in the supermarket, and with only good intentions. This time, we were going to leave meat aside, and focus entirely on vegetables. We had set our Waze in advance so that we didn’t need to pass by the meat to get to the vegetables.
Very confronting. Once we arrived at the vegetables, there was an initial sigh of relief – we had made it. Immediately, the bright orange carrots and blood-red tomatoes caught our eye. The yellow and red peppers also looked very appetising. But after that, things quickly went downhill, as there were green peppers too. And soon things went from bad to worse, as suddenly we were faced with an assortment of green vegetables, and we were not prepared for this.
Lives destroyed. After all, green is simply ugly, it is not a warm colour, it is not a cold colour, it is nothing. And what amazes us most is that no one has yet won a Nobel Prize with this observation. To this day, we still manage to eat on our own and put on our own trousers, but there are those things in life that just have to be said. And if we have to be the bad guy then, we gladly take on that role with both hands. Because green destroys lives. Houses have to make way for trees, flowers are pushed away by bushes and weeds attack everything and everyone.
Man’s best friend. And in our fight against green, we are really not alone. Most animals fight the same battle. Cows eat as much grass as they can, goats climb on rocks to clear the greenery, but our most faithful ally is still the dog, as it raises its paw against a tree or a bush at every opportunity. And don’t use the excuse that this is Mother Nature’s most beautiful colour, because she doesn’t like it herself. Some months she tolerates that green, but in autumn she opts for colour, and in winter she rather walks naked than in that dirty colour.
Avoid this chapter. But danger lurks around the corner, as green is gaining ground. And we too are doing our bit, as we are in the process of switching to electric cars. And then trees and forests will become redundant. Because for someone who commutes 20 km a day and works 250 days a year, this means that the commuting distance is 5,000 km a year. A typical car emits 130g of CO2 per km. 5000 km results in emissions of 650 kg CO2 per year. A tree needs about 9 m² of space to grow, so 22 trees need 200 m² or half a hectare. The average net uptake per tree is about 30 kg CO2 per year, so 22 trees are needed to offset the emissions of one year’s commute of 20 km per day. This means that if you were to plant 22 trees, the CO2 absorption each year would offset your 5,000 km of commuting per year.
Ground level. So if we want more trees, which are only green for a few months a year anyway, we really need to get in our wagon, and drive a lot of distance. And the spicier the car, the more trees can be planted. And that brings us seamlessly to this newcomer, the BMW M2. And it’s about time this one arrived, as the 50-year M celebration only got limited shine so far with the launch of the overpriced XM. This one is undoubtedly going to cost something as well, but you also get a lot in return. But let’s start with what you don’t get, which in this case is good news for many, which is a two-storey front grille.
Fat bottom. No doubt there will be those who already have their opinion ready on the looks, but we think it is a bit too early to say out loud that it looks fat and square. Oops… Let’s start at the beginning, which also seems the most logical order. And depending on whether you are in front or behind the BMW, that is the front or rear bumper. And at first glance, it looks like these are inspired by flower pots, but for very large windows. But what Mr Proper means for windows is what the Aftermarket will mean for bumpers, so they can be addressed if required. What the Aftermarket will be less concerned about is undoubtedly the fat bottoms. Kardashian Kim has set a trend, and the designers at BMW are no doubt fans of the series.
Shareholders. There’s a lot to say about the design, but we especially want to know what’s going on underneath. And fortunately that is still a party, because there is indeed a six-cylinder on board, and yes it is still commanded from the rear wheels. The shareholders at the tyre manufacturers are already opening a bottle. The current M3 and M4 are fantastic handling cars, and according to BMW, this new M2 won’t have to undercut them. On board lurks an M TwinPower Turbo 3.0 that throws in a whopping 459 bhp. That’s a lot more than the 410 bhp of the previous M2. Torque of 550 Nm dawns at up to 7200 rpm.
Chris Harris. The limiter does not allow you to go over 250 km/h, but the solution to that is BMW’s optional M Drivers package, which allows 280 km/h provided a ‘small’ contribution is made. With the automatic, you speed from 0-100 km/h in 4.1 seconds, which is exactly 0.1 seconds faster than the current BMW M4. If you choose to shake the gearshift yourself, BMW says it would take you 4.3 seconds to reach the speed limit for motorways during daylight in the Netherlands. Which is only 100 km/h, so staying away from there is the message. Finally, let me point out that you can count on Traction Control with lots of options here too, so you can perfectly mimic Chris Harris, but preferably on the racetrack or in the parking lot of the nearest police station…