_Mine is big and red honey…

We have a strong love-hate relationship with the hefty BMW X5. That thing looks impressive from all sides except when you get stuck behind one on the road. Then it feels like an eclipse of the sun and you lose 99% of your driving view. 

Big phallus. At that point there is nothing left to do besides taking the next exit and wait for your full sight to return. Staying behind a BMW X5 when your girlfriend or wife is with you is an even worse idea. At that point, it doesn’t matter how much you assist in the household or how well hung you are, because in her mind she is already sitting next to the driver of that X5, driving off into the sunset.

Stay inside. The very first X5 was nothing more than a BMW 5-Series with extra long doors, chunky spoilers and longer suspension springs. The global automotive press was, to say the least, strongly divided over its appearance. But soon enough they had to swallow their pen and ink bottle when it turned out that BMW managed to sell quite a few of them. Gradually the X5 became a full-fledged SUV, and today there is nothing else you can do then to stay home and keep away from doors and windows if you don’t want to see one. 

Magazine covers. No doubt Hamann was inspired by Disney’s ‘Turning Red’, a film about a little girl who turns into a big red panda. Or not. Though maybe. Although we don’t see any reason why this should be the case. So maybe not. Anyway, in a previous life you could find Hamann on several  covers of tuning magazines worldwide. Back then, the brand already had a strong bean for BMW models, and they built quite a few cool projects. Once in a while they pop up again, and this time it is the case with the BMW X5.. 

Drama. We strongly recommend a visit to Hamann, but at the same time we would like to make a few notes. Hamann offers you a front splitter, a set of side steps, a rear diffuser and a rear spoiler. The red accents for sure escaped from the ‘90s and look a bit too dramatic. Furthermore there’s a carbon-coated 115 mm quad tailpipes that pulls the middle finger to the entire electric vehicle community. Big wheels in 23 inch are a bit rich in our book and the fact that Hamann uses only a set of springs to close the gap between the tires and the wheel arches is simply not the best solution. 

Winnie the Pooh. I know, we are biased and we’re going to advice you to drop a KW suspension under your X5, but isn’t this plain common sense? Big SUV, big investment, a cool tuning package and then a set of springs. That’s like sending your child to school in a Gucci outfit combined with secondhand Flip Flops. Anyway, KW suspension has the V3 available for the X5, and for the top models you can rely on the V4 coilovers. Just in case you need to stick in corners like honey around Winnie the Pooh bear’s lips.

Finding the right suspension for your car:


Choosing the right wheel for your car: