_Street Legal GT racer.

These are challenging times, to say the least. It started this morning when we got out of bed on the wrong leg. Unfortunately, this happens often, because our other leg has been amputated after an accident with an electric scooter. The scooter itself has been repaired and is parked and ready to make new victims on the pavement of the train station.

Screw red lights. In other words, nothing is as safe as a car for both short and long distances. The choice you make is entirely up to you, but today we are going to try and make a case to use the KTM X-Bow GT-XR for this sole purpose. For our 2% of readers who do not have their own track, we have some good news. This KTM is what is known in the jargon as Street Legal, which means that you have every right to participate in daily traffic with this GT-XR. So you can contribute to the government’s bottomless treasury chest with a clear conscience by ignoring red lights, overtaking cyclists in those “innovative” cycle roads where the intention is to drive behind the cyclist at 5 km/h and not to overtake them, going significantly faster than the speeds indicated by the road signs and to double park in cycle lanes. Surely that should result in a minimum of fines…

2 the moon. There are on average 365 days in a year. Of these, 104 are weekends. On average, there are also average 30 days of leave per year, which means that in the end, you work ‘only’ 191 days per year. Austrian company KTM will only build 100 units of this GT-XR each year, which means that you would only have to wait 1.91 days for delivery. That is not only unprecedented and undoubtedly a world record, but certainly a reason for Elon Musk to get highly frustrated and jump into one of his own SpaceX rockets with a one-way ticket to the moon.  

Lightweight. However, it doesn’t have to be a one-way ticket Elon, as KTM will continue to swear allegiance to fuel for now. After all, they use a 2.5-litre turbocharged 5-cylinder from Audi that has 500 bhp points on its report card, and boasts 581 Nm of torque at 5500 rpm. Knowing that this, and we’re going to molest our keyboard yet again by typing in that long name, KTM X-Bow GT-XR weighs just 1130 kg dry on the stick, you won’t be surprised to find out that 3.4 seconds is enough to reach 100 km/h and that the fun doesn’t end until the needle reaches 280 km/h. Or in this case the digital counter from the removable carbon fiber steering wheel.

Gravity is a bitch, not a Victoria’s Secret model. Externally, this KTM X-Bow GT-XR looks as sharp as pages 9, 12, 14-27 and 32-76 of the Victoria’s Secret brochure. Because gravity is a bitch, and that goes for both the girls of Victoria’s Secret as for the cars of KTM. While textiles bring relief to the ladies, the GT-XR relies more on a hefty rear wing, rear diffuser and front splitter.

Wait for Monday. What strikes is that this KTM is rather high on the legs, which can be solved with a stylish and efficient extra lowering, preferably in combination with a set of wheels that is one or more sizes bigger. We ordered ours today, so it should be delivered before the weekend, and then we could possibly take it out into town this weekend, but we’d rather wait until next Monday when schools are open and more people are on their way to work. It’s so much easier to irritate people on Monday morning. And certainly much more enjoyable…   

* Our introductions (and to a lesser extent our articles themselves) are all too often based on false information and contain facts that we can rarely, if ever, prove. We therefore take full responsibility for denying that we have written this article in a state where neither alcohol nor any other forbidden substance was involved.