There are a lot of things you can get angry about these days. Against that, of course, there are a lot of other things that just make us happy, and these can often be very small things. But we are not going to talk about that today, because we will stick to being angry for a while.
Eating cars. And we have been aiming our anger, presumably from the time we got our first toy car pushed into our hands, at the automotive sector for a while now. Because ever since we were little and one of those little model cars could fit in our mouths, we have been fascinated by whatever is on four wheels. A little less of the rubbish cart and children’s buggies, but then we never put those in our mouths. Others undoubtedly have, because we know a few with big mouths…
Nice drawing. Cars in the past consisted mainly of metal. Today, that percentage is steadily decreasing due to the use of both aluminium and recycled materials. And let’s not complicate the way politicians describe their daily work when cameras are around, but basically it comes down to taking pieces of metal and folding them into shape. Throw some paint on it, put in some windows, a few more handles and some lights, and you’re already pretty close to something that looks like a 6-year-old’s drawing.
After war. And this is exactly how you start channelling anger, you build it up. And we are already quite advanced in our discourse, and are actually almost ready for the apotheosis. That leaves us with this reflection. In the years after the Second World War, people managed to build the most extreme, unique and sublime body styles. These days, almost all of these have been discarded under the guise of the price tag, and in recent decades pedestrian safety has been added.
Eat your dessert. That last bubble no longer holds water today, as pedestrians these days race through the streets on either a scooter or one of those motorised bicycles better known as electric bikes. And besides, contemporary cars are equipped with a lot of electronic gadgets that protect vulnerable road users. Fortunately, today there is still a self-thinking driver behind the wheel to make sure those pedestrians on wheels get what they desser… get dessert before they leave the house.
Annoying. Conclusion and ultimately reason for our tantrum, car manufacturers today don’t bother putting that metal, aluminium or whatever in such a shape that it will actually look good. There are two exceptions though, but that satisfies us even less. Firstly, there are the luxury and sports cars that are often marketed in a nicely streamlined way, and there are also the so-called concepts. These are little things that car manufacturers have invented to annoy us car fanatics.
Writers block. And in some cases, these defy our imagination, and it sometimes takes weeks or months before we become even remotely familiar with current market offerings. And those that tug at our imagination can be counted on to meet our most malicious gaze. And for some time now, that has been directed at GM. In fact, it is bad to the extent that we can only write this article today, because we have taken the necessary time to be able to place this. Because their latest concept is comparable to dropping off a school bus full of children at the gates of Disney after closing time.
No sex. We are of course talking about the insanely beautiful Buick Wildcat which they also put EV Concept behind. We’re going to stick with Buick Wildcat here, sounds just a little more commercially viable. But we are under no illusions, and in fact Buick quickly puts our two feet back on the ground with one sentence in their press text: “The Wildcat was developed to convey the all-new design language that will influence Buick production models for the foreseeable future.” In other words, we put top models under neon and behind glass, we hand out free condoms, play Maurice Ravel’s Bolero in the background, but you don’t stand a chance to get in… the door.
We need to go. So there is no point in bothering you with the sizes and characteristics of this Wildcat, because we are never going to encounter it on the street. And so yes, that pisses us off. But we good citizens will just accept it I guess. And step into our daily grey mouse to go to work. It’s just the way it is. Unfortunately, we also have to start wrapping up this article, because we just got a call from the workshop that the servicing of our Bugatti Chiron is finished. And for those raising eyebrows now, it’s painted grey…